Integrity

My last post put a very positive spin on the way that I seem to be hiking the Trail right now.  It has been a LOT of fun, I've met some very nice people.  Even yesterday, I ended up trying to hitch hike, and ended up for a day and a half at a crawl***.
 
Although the way I'm hiking has been a lot of fun, I've also taken 9 zero days out of the last 18.  That's not a lot of hiking.  And it makes me a little sad.  Actually, it makes me feel like I'm not being very honest with any of you to say that I am still THRU-hiking.  It's been difficult when EVERY person who sees me with my little backpack questions that I'm a thru-hiker.  Some don't believe that I started in Georgia.  I desperately still want to be hiker trash, but, it would seem, I now have too many differences.  Sure, some hiker trash wouldn't care how much I hitch-hike, but I do.  A very few hikers think I'm badass for staying on the Trail after a MRSA infection.  But HALF of the past 18 days NOT on the Trail!!  Sigh.

I'm trying so desperately to adapt to someone else's hike.  And sometimes I feel like I'm the bad person for wanting to have a plan.  And I feel like the killjoy for wanting to actually get up and just hike instead of waiting to see what fun the "Trail" will provide. 

So, I'm trying to figure out what to do.  Is it posible to hike by myself?  Without a tent or water purifier?  Will it still be any fun?  I remember getting very lonely after 10 days in the Shenandoahs by myself.  And this will be a month.  So, please pray for me.  This is a very difficult hike at the moment.  Even though it is very fun.  And even though I very much enjoy Odie's company. 

So, yes, there is a positive way to look at this, and that is the way I'm trying to see this, trying to adapt.  However, there is still a part of me that is not content.  With all integrity, I cannot say that I am hiking my own hike.  So, it's about trying to figure out how much I need to bend and sway and adapt and how much I need to stand by what I want from this Trail.  It's not an easy decision.


***For those that don't know (as I didn't until yesterday), a crawl is when people raise up the chassis of their truck or jeep, put huge tires on, and then drive through the woods, tearing through the trees, bouldering over rocks, creating large swaths of tire tracks. They create really steep hills to try to muscle up, and long mud trails to try to floor the gas pedals and force their vehicles through. I know that we do have this in Wisconsin, but I had never been up close and personal to it, much less in someone's jeep while getting stuck in the sand on said really steep hill.