Well, at some point the Trail has to come to an end. I made it GA-->Maine; all 14 states; just shy of 2000 miles (1,965.5 to be exact). I didn't quite reach Katahdin, the terminus of the AT. Remember that little setback in the ER in Massachusetts? Well, after getting my full pack returned to me in Gorham NH, and hiking for a few days with that, I realized that my back was not as healed up as I was hoping. Maine is a very remote place, and I was realizing going into the 100 mile wilderness may not be the best idea with my back still not completely healed. I certainly don't want to deal with MRSA in the wilderness.
So, a bittersweet end. I felt I needed to make a long-term decision for my health rather than the desire to stay in the woods for another 3-4 weeks. So, yesterday, I got a ride to Augusta ME where I could pick up a bus to get to Massachusetts to stay with friends for a few days and regroup. Now what?
The bus trip was... quite honestly, terrifying. Here were so many people in such a small space, and NO one was talking to each other. 20+ people with 20+ silent, impenetrable bubbles. Why weren't we talking? Plus, we're flying down the interstate. How can anyone see the trees or rocks? What if there was a moose by the pond we just whizzed by? Do all of these silent people not care about seeing a moose?
Then, we got to the city. It was after dark. Wow, so many lights, so much stimuli, going by my window oh so fast. I couldn't take it all in. I had to shut my eyes. We went through a tunnel, brightly buzzing with fluorescent lights, trying to comfort the claustrophobic (like me). The bus spit me out at the airport where my friends were going to pick me up. All alone, surrounded by concrete and echoes of engines reverberating off the road above me and beneath me. People passed me, and I'm sure they were choking on my sweat-vinegar-pack-stench as much as I was choking on their perfume and hairspray wafting behind them (which, by the way, masked the laundry detergent).
This world... so familiar, so foreign. I've stood at this very spot previously at this airport. I know about manicures and business suits and mascara and patent leather. But it's been so long since I've seen it. It all seems very... overwhelming.
Yes, I'm a little lost - not having white blazes to follow now. The path isn't quite as clear and there are many forks to choose from. Which one do I choose?
But, ahhhhh, the Trail provides. My friends came, and they were a comfort. They asked about the Trail and my stories and I could begin to process the meaning of all the monotony that was the green tunnel of the Trail. I could start to share maybe a glimpse of why someone would want to sleep in mouse-infested shelters, eat peanut butter every day for six months, walk every day with every step having a pain in the knee, forsake the comforts and conveniences of tunnels and lights and manicures and perfume.
I'm going to continue blogging because it's my way of processing this experience of the Trail. If you keep following along, you'll keep hearing stories, and I'll post more pictures. And someday, I'll get back to Rangeley Maine and I will walk those 220 miles north to Katahdin. I think I've actually already finished the Trail - as Odie said, "Some people don't need the WHOLE Trail (and some need more than one trail)", but other people need a photo to prove the accomplishment. And I would like it as well. Maybe after I get the Katahdin photo, I'll swing back to Vermont and finish the Long Trail. Or fly to Europe to hike the Camino. Or... *sigh* Where are those white blazes?
Sweet Patchouli - yes, a bittersweet end for 2013 but a decision made with much wisdom and I'm sure guidance from our Heavenly Father. After my foot injury resulted in leaving at the 400 mile mark, I found this quote which brought comfort. Perhaps, it will speak to you.
ReplyDelete"So Much More - You are ready to give up. But you have come such a long way. You have gleaned so much wisdom from being true to your path. There is no need to rush ahead, no need to strive mightily. Covering a great distance is of no consequence. All this you know. You know also that the goal of the pilgrimage is not the arrival, but the transformation that comes from being open to the road. Be at peace with what hasn’t come into your life. Be receptive to what may yet be. Let the hard place within you soften and melt into a warm easiness with where you are, who you are, and what you are about. Leave yourself open to that deep wellspring of being. Know that at the bottom of the pit, which you are convinced is little more than an echoing void, lies the source of life itself. Let its grace rise up within you. You are so much more than you know." Austin Repath from Pilgrim Cards
I also want to walk the Camino. If you'd like company, let me know.
I hope you hear God's voice saying "Well done, good and faithful servant."
I've heard the Camino is fabulous! Someone asked me when I'm going to walk it...oh boy, not sure when I'll be ready for that! Good for you for listening to your health, even when your heart wants to keep walking. I pray your transition into non trail life goes well and that God clearly leads you to your next steps.
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