There are many lessons I learned in 2013. Many were ones I thought I knew and had to relearn, or learn at a new depth of understanding. Some, I'm sure, will be forgotten and need to be relearned in upcoming years and hikes.
I learned that it's OK to just be me. I don't HAVE to produce, achieve, or be special. In fact, no one really cares if I am. Those who do care, care about me just by me being me.
I learned a job is not where my security is. Yes, I need money. Yes, a job will achieve money. But a job doesn't define me, it doesn't give me meaning or purpose, and no one really cares what I do, as long as I'm not a burden on them. Those who do care, care about my being able to have a well-lived life with the comforts and work that is best for me.
|Here. Climb this. For fun.|
I learned that I'm OK being by myself. I had known that before, but I learned a new depth to that. I learned how much I love being around people. I knew that before too, but seeing this in a different capacity gave a new layer for me to noodle around. I've learned that I need time to be by myself AND time to be social. Newsflash: I'm a social butterfly who likes vast amounts of time to myself. Weird. If you can figure out how to make that work in real life, you let me know.
So many more lessons, but I won't bore you. But let's take a moment to look forward. 2014. Now what?
Not to sound overly dramatic, but I think that I would be selling my soul if I were to go back to the "way things were" before last March. If I just got myself a job, I wouldn't be honoring the lessons learned on the Trail. I'd devalue both myself AND the Trail. Sure, if my reserves get low enough, I know that I will need to just take whatever I need to for income. Because I'm not a mooch, and I'm not lazy. But... if I have the ability now to live on very little so that I can slowly create the income that I need to move toward the next path for my life, then... that's what I will need to do.
I'm trying to fit in to the mold I lived in before. And everyone is noticing that that isn't working overly well. A new mold needs to be built, and that takes time. So, this mold of where I go, what I do with my free time, who I hang out with, what volunteer choices I make, etc etc. All of those things are under scrutiny. That's not to say I do not love and cherish the people and events from the previous mold. Or that I won't somehow incorporate some of them into the new mold.
|The new me emerging.|
I'll keep you posted, but I think it's safe to assume things may be a-changin' on this posting as well. The winds of change may be pointing toward another blog before too long. I hope you will continue to follow my adventure.