Faceplants and other methods of falling

I hope that none of you think that being on the trail is a thing of grace and beauty.  Oh no.  Not only are we sweaty, dirty, and bug-bitten, we also deal with the very practical things of athlete's foot, passing gas while going uphill with someone behind us, not to mention other GI issues that come with gorging one's self on town food and then hiking out.  Ahem.  No, not pretty, and not graceful.

Another thing that is not graceful is when a hiker falls down.  It's inevitable.  2200 miles, 5 million steps. You're guaranteed a misstep now and then.  Here's some of the categories I've experienced:

1.  "The Traditional Faceplant"  This happened to me outside of Hot Springs, NC.  Walking on dirt, minding my own business, and suddenly, I find myself face first in the dirt.  I roll over, and eventually stand up - quite surprised.  Looking behind, I see nothing that I might have tripped over - a rock, a tree root.  Who knows?  Maybe I fell over my own two feet, or my trekking poles (which happens, but they also have saved my life numerous times - thanks Dean!).  But, I just simply fell over, and before I knew what was happening, I was eating dirt.  Injury: Minor abrasions around my eye.  Treatment: sprayed it with hand sanitizer.  Made full recovery.

2.  "The Trail-is-not-meant-for-short-people Fall"  This happens when I try to go over downed trees that sit just above hip level (or mid thigh level for a "normal" person).  I swing one leg over, get my tippy toes just barely touching the ground, and then overswing the other leg.  The swing creates too much momentum with the added weight of the pack, and I tumble over on the other side.  Injury: none but my pride.  There is another version of this where I try to go over the tree by wrapping myself around it and sort of squiggling over.  That also results in a relatively embarrassing tumble to the other side.  Thankfully, I've seen others do this and so learned not to mimic that.

3.  "The Trail-gets-back-at-tall-people Fall"  There are a few times when it pays to be short.  A very few times, downed trees end up across the Trail at head height (or slightly above my head).  The other day, I walked under a tree just like that.  However, Barbarosa was not so lucky.  All I heard was a hollow thump followed by a scuffle and another thump.  I turned around and he's sitting on the ground.  He didn't realize he needed to duck under the tree, hit his head and it just knocked him down.  Injury: None.  We had a good laugh once I asked him several questions to make sure he didn't have a concussion.

4.  "Pennsylvania Rocks Suck Fall"  The picture below is similar to Knife Edge, which is the cliff that I fell off of.  The rocks are not above tree line, but the trees are fairly scraggly, so at the very top of the Knife Edge, we were kind of standing above the trees.  Like I said, it only takes one slight step gone awry, and little off balance, or a slick rock that makes you go rock surfing.  I took a step, looked up to determine my next step, and got a little off balance.  I couldn't find my balance again and I simply fell backward.  My backpack muffled my fall into the tree off the rock edge.  I broke several branches and I just tried to grab the branches to stop my fall head first to, God knows how far down.  I stopped with my legs sticking out of a slightly flattened tree.  As soon as I realized I was stable enough to not keep falling down, I exclaim, "I'm OK.  I'm Ooooooo...K."  I'm not sure if Barbarosa waited until he heard that to start laughing or not.  Injury:  None, except my pride.  It could have been worse.  As I was uprighting myself, I reached behind (and below) me to find a jagged rock a few inches from my head.  Thankfully, my fall did not send me any further down that tree.

And now, for my favorite fall on the Trail thus far:

5.  "I'm Batman.  Oh no! I'm not!"  This was near Roan Mountain.  The winds were gusting at 70-80 mph.  I was wearing my rain poncho and hiking alone.  I've written about Roan Mtn in a previous blog, but I don't think I included this little story.  I was having a blast fighting the wind, leaning into it and not falling over, etc.  At one point, I thought it would be fun to try to get airborne in the wind.  So, I took off my pack and waited for the wind to gust.  When it did, I pulled my rain poncho taut by my sides and exclaimed "I'm Batman!"  The wind picked me up and promptly threw me on my back on the ground.  I probably only got off the ground a few inches, but it freaked me out that suddenly I could be swept off the mountain altogether.  Equally freaky was how hard I hit the ground.  Injury: none.  Treatment:  I'm not Batman.  Nope.  No way, Don't wanna be.  I'm good as Patchouli, thank you.  But, as Patchouli, trying to fly seemed like a good idea at the time.