What I've Learned...

I spent some time this morning re-reading my previous blogposts, reminiscing and reminding myself of how far I've come, what I've experienced, and what we've all shared together here in this forum.  Since I still need some time off trail to heal up, I naturally began waxing very philosophical.  Give a girl a few minutes to think, and will she ever run with it!  So, here is what I've learned on the Trail:

• I'm never alone
• I like people.  Huh. That's a revelation.
• Walking in Nature helps.  Helps what?  I think just about everything.
• God always provides.
• I'm part of something.
• It's not up to me.
• I'm loved.  I knew this cognitively before, but now, I've experienced it.  With no strings attached.  At least, I've experienced in such a way that let me really see it.  
• I don't do anything by myself.
• Boot straps are over-rated
• Having needs is a good thing
• I'm an oasis just by being myself
• I AM enough, even (and especially) when I am not enough
• I can hitch alone
• I enjoy other's hikes.  I like to be a part of lots of journeys.  I'm not just a drama queen; I'm just not uncomfortable by other people's drama.
• I'm comfortable in new experiences.  I can really enjoy a lot of things for a time.
• People are quite similar, no matter what the background.  People want grace.  People want to be loved.  People want to be a part of something, to belong.
• Most people don't feel they belong.  They feel "different" (and not in the good individualized way)
• I AM a strong woman though it's not mandatory for be to be so all the time
• Fear is what holds me back in pretty much anything I get held back in.  I'm getting over that.
• Self-assurance.  I think I'm just more comfortable in my own skin. 

And just to leave you with one more random thought before I go to my silent retreat (no really, I'm staying at an interfaith silent retreat center for 4 days!  Talk about my philosophical overload!), here's a little ditty I wrote yesterday as I was thinking about the world's problems:

If I could wish one thing for the world, it would be one day set aside for tears.

A day when , globally, we could all cry for whatever hurts.  We could cry for ourselves, our broken families, our regrets, our unfulfilled dreams, our unanswered prayers.  

We could simply wail through our grief, our hate, our rejection, our injustice.

And if we got done with all that, we could cry for others: for those who've broken our hearts, for those worse off than us, for those who have left the earth with their tears still unshed.

And there would be no shame because every other person would be weeping - the entire world - simply grieving it's own failure and lonlieness.

Perhaps, at the end of that day, we would all feel a bit more space inside.

And as we look into each other's eyes - undignified and swollen from grief - we could truly see each other... and smile.

Well, that's what's in my brain today.  Hope it give you some food for thought.